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This Is Just A Joke. Softball Is A Passion And I'm Serious About It
1. We Always Use Our Hips For Power
2. We Can Handle The Heat
3. When It Gets Hard We Pull Through
4. We Can Do It In 9 Different Positions For 105 Minutes
5. We’re Not Afraid To Get Down And Dirty
6. We’ll Do Anything To Score
7. We Don’t Mind Doing It With Others
8. We Know Our Way Around The Bases
9. We Can Handle It Fast, Hard, Or Slow
10. We Can Go At It Any Time Of The Day
11. We Have A Good Grip With The Big Sticks And Balls
12. Our Playing Fields Are Always Fresh Cut
13. We Let The Visitors Be On Top
14. We Make Sure To Touch Every Base Before Scoring
15. We're Always Up For Extra Innings
16. We Are Encouraged To "Score Early" And "Score More"
17. We're Good With Our Hands
18. We Keep The Lights On For Night Games
19. We Have The Perfect Grip
20. We Have Double Headers Every Sunday
21. We Look Forward To The Next Game
22. We Aren’t Afraid To Get On The Ground For Balls
23. We'll Sacrifice Our Bodies
24. We’re Always Looking To Hit It Hard
25. We Aren’t Afraid To Have Balls Fly At Our Face
26. We Always Want To Get To The Next Base
27. Stroke It, Poke It, Give It A Ride, Hit It Up The Middle And Say Bye Bye
28. Our Number 1 Goal Is To Score
29. We Always Play To Win
30. We’re Not Afraid To Get A Little Wet
A Devilish Way To Win
One day the devil called up St. Peter and challenged him to a softball game.
"Okay," St. Peter said, "But you know we have all the great players up here in Heaven."
"You'll lose anyway," the devil said.
"Don't be foolish," St. Peter replied. "We're sure to win. Why we have Lisa Fernandez, Cat Osterman, Jennie Finch, Michelle Smith, Stacy Nuveman and Dot Richardson.
"I know," the devil interrupted, "But we have all the umpires!"
This Is For My Dad, Who Isn't Just A Parent. He's The Coach
I used to have a regular life. (Actually, many of my friends say that sentence should say, "I used to have a life", period.)
It doesn't really seem that long ago. Then I became a Travelball parent.
I used to think anything over $40 was an exorbitant price for a Softball bat. Now the contents of my Daughter's equipment bag are worth more than everything else in the house -- including clothes, jewelry, watches, and my laptop computer.
I used to be one of the leaders in my field of work. I still am. (You have to keep a good paycheck coming in if you want to support a travelball habit!)
I used to think a double-header was a long day at the ball field. Now after two games we're just getting warmed up.
I used to look for little restaurants that served seafood fresh off the boat. Now I'm a connoisseur of nachos and hot dogs and my kids rate a city by the quality of a tournaments snack bar!
Sunflower seeds used to be something I would see at a store and wonder who would eat those things? Now I don't feel comfortable leaving the house with out a bag in my pocket.
My lawn used to be like a carpet. It was green, mowed, trimmed, fertilized, and watered. Now I have two big bare spots fifty feet apart and dents in my garage door from fastballs that got away!
My car used to draw admiring looks and comments. It was clean and waxed and shined and Armor-All'd. Now it only draws attention when it wins the "dirtiest car in the parking lot" prize.
I used to have a garage, now I have an indoor batting area.
My friends and I used to spend Monday mornings talking about a round of golf or movie we had just seen. Now I bore them to death with detailed play-by-play descriptions of five or six low-scoring ball games.
We used to sit and talk for hours. We still do-- however, now it's to keep the driver awake when we're headed home late Sunday evening after a tournament.
My summer casual wardrobe used to be made up of color-coordinated polo shirts, cool cottons in bright colors, and the occasional "aloha" shirt. Now I have a closet full of T-shirts that have Tournament Names on the front and competing teams on the back.
We used to spend our summer vacation relaxing on the beach or visiting family. Now we hit the road with 20 of our closest friends in a caravan that could rival some small town parades.
I used to be concerned that I would fall into the trap of living my life through my kid. Now I know that I'm privileged to live my life WITH my kid!!!
Yes, I'm a Travel Ball Parent, what could be better!
